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Comics for Alcoholics

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour. 2. Always toast before doing a shot. 3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast. 4. Change your toast at least once a month. 5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake. 6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb. 7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night. 8. When the bartender is slammed, resist th... Read More

You can see your breath in July. You can’t say the word sober without making air quotes. You feel incredibly sexy despite the vomit stain down the front of your shirt. Gin never gives you a hangover, but martini olives absolutely murder you. You figure the cab companies are making a fortune off the cell phones, lighters and all that other shit that falls out of your pockets. You know to put extra ice in your cocktail when you take a hot shower. Contrary to popular opinion, you don’t drink al... Read More

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